And speaking of golfing, Railroad Retirement Board Chairman Glen L. Bower and member Jerome F. Kever doubtless had a fine time this week using railroad workers pension trust funds to pay for their trip to Maui.

Curmudgeonly RRB inspector general Martin J. Dickman was much outraged that the two presidential appointees planned to go from the Chicago headquarters to a three-day meeting of the American Short Line Railroad Association 1997 Pacific region meeting.

He dispatched a blistering memo May 23 demanding that general counsel Catherine C. Cook justify this "junket." The itinerary for the meeting includes:

June 7 Sugarcane Train Ride

Sunset Dinner Cruise

June 8 Registration

Oceanside Reception

June 9 Three hours of meetings, including refreshment breaks

Afternoon Free

Golfing Outing on the Wailea Golf Course

June 10 Three hours of meetings, including refreshment breaks

Afternoon Free

Evening Luau

Sounds like a typically rigorous government outing, but Dickman insisted this "scenario" involves "junket" type travel for which presidential appointees have been sanctioned and criticized. And he was not mollified that Bower and Kever "are jointly scheduled to speak during the final day of this meeting for a combined total of 30 minutes."

Maybe they talk fast?

Federal regulations bar spending money for meetings "unless necessary for carrying out an official duty," Dickman wrote, and "it is difficult to discern how" the cruise, golfing and such would "support a finding" that spending trust funds for this junket "is necessary to carry out their official duties."

Give it a rest, Cook shot back. Using trust funds to pay for this trip is "a legitimate use of agency funds for all ... board members to maintain regular contact with rail management and labor officials."

Each Board Member "has the authority to decide to maintain contact by attending meetings that allow him to reach a number of those officials at one time in one place," she said in a May 30 reply. "In my experience, use of agency funds for these purposes is commonplace, not just at this agency but at most federal agencies."

See, it’s not like they wanted to leave Chicago during this lovely spring and go to yucky Hawaii. But rubbing elbows with executives is part of their onerous duties and they are forced to go wherever the executives are. That’s why government officials never travel to Finland in January or Barbados in July.

They certainly would go, but there’d be no elbows to rub.

Reprinted from the Washington Post, Friday, June 13, 1997